Letters, all unsent; poems, some posted on facebook, but most of them stuck to the wall of my study. One day I might be able to turn them into a story that makes sense, but for now it must be enough that I am ready to share again.
I still live in my house; I still have my cat; I have the same friends and the same job and yet, a big change has happened: I have brief periods during which this person, who usually scrutinises the past to project it into the future, actually is living in the moment, is doing what she is doing because she can.
Having lived in a very harmonic relationship for 30 years, very planned and very low risk, I had to learn what freedom is. I am not entirely sure that I really grasp the concept, but I know that I have it. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! How many people would kill to be able to say that, while I am not really sure what to do with this gift.
I am a person who feels safe in relationships; people, location, work. I always thought that I am a free spirit, but am I really? I do like to have control over my actions but if I see sense in something I am quite happy to constrain myself. Well, this is one way of using freedom, yet most people would probably use it to run and roam.
And that is exactly what I am going to do. I now have my lovely motorcycle and I will ride. I will make plans, one has to start somewhere, but as I don't have a SatNav and am usually lazy to get my mobile out, I will inevitably get lost. This is the moment when the real journey starts. I will just go and see where I end up, nobody will know where I am, and neither will I. And those will be the stories to fill my travel blog again.
So, cross fingers that the weather will be good on Sunday, the plan is made, the game is on!